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Why it Should be Your Ultimate Goal As A Woman


For any high-achieving woman (which we all are) self-love should be our ultimate goal. Yet for some reason, time and time again, I see it kicked to the bottom of the priority list. 


Society has taught us women that in order to love ourselves, we must first and foremost be successful. From success comes confidence, and from confidence comes self-acceptance, and this leads to beliefs, values, and ultimately self-love.


I disagree. To me, that is so backwards. Instead, here’s my theory: 


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We NEED self-love in order to achieve anything in life, success especially. Self-love should not be the byproduct, but rather the key ingredient.


This “story” dished out to us by society conditions us to speak to ourselves and others in such disempowering ways. In itself, this leads us to struggle even more to create the self-love and self-care we so desperately crave. We spend our days reciting negative thoughts often to a point where the little voice inside our head is so loud that our fears become bigger than our vision. Instead of owning our power and worth and approaching life from our heart space, we place validation in what we are creating outside of ourselves. We’re stuck believing that if we keep going, pushing, and achieving that we will eventually find self-love. But we won’t. Not like that anyway.


Love is a real emotion.


When we come from love, our work begins to flow and click into place a lot more easily. As we give off the love we feel for ourselves it is then given back to us by attracting in the right clients, relationships and people.


But, how do we create and cultivate self-love? First, we have to get comfortable with our shame story. We have to get intimate with the light and the dark parts of ourselves. Why? Because they all matter. They are all perfect. And they all have a wholeness about them. 


After I chose to have an abortion my self-worth and my self-love were at an all time low, and these emotions connected deeply to how I was thinking and behaving. 


In order to change and live a more wholehearted life, I had to get honest about the story I was making up regarding my struggle and the shame I was feeling. I had to challenge the assumptions I had put on myself, and determine what was true, what was self-protection and what stories and emotions needed to shift within me. 


I chose to write a new ending about my abortion based on the key learnings and lessons from this part of my life. I opted for a braver story to change and how I then looked at the world and to transform the way I chose to love myself. 


Self-love is possible for all of us. Life’s too short to live dictated and controlled by our past or by the negative cultural dialogue we’ve been tricked into believing.


It starts by choosing you. By choosing to take action towards living the life you want to live. My Guided Process for Discovering Your Next Steps is a FREE downloadable guide and visualisation designed to help you do just that. 


Don’t kick self-love down the ladder anymore. Pop your details in below to get your copy and take that bold, beautiful, so-deserving step towards the love I know you have within you.

Love always,



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